Transformed
by Desayuno
Summary: It's that time of the month for Hermione, and in one of her crazy mood swings, she and Ron get into a fight, which ends terribly: Harry is on the recieving end of a spell gone horribly wrong, and is transformed into a woman.


This one starts off a little faster. I apologize hugely if any of you get a little lost. Just let me know where and I'll try my best to fix it! Also, in case any of you wanted to know, I'm not really sure what year this takes place in. fifth maybe? Maybe sixth? I'm still deciding. There's no rush, really, it's not something you need to know yet. I'll figure it out sooner or later.

Disclaimer- "Harry Potter" and the names of the characters, items, events and places therein are trademarks of J. K. Rowling under license to Warner Brothers Incorporated. i.e. I own nothing (except the plot).

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Chapter One: Oops

"I told you that he wouldn't give you any points for the assignment, but did you listen to me? No! Of course you didn't! Then you had to go dragging me into all of this and now I'm getting in trouble! Me! Hermione Granger! Getting in trouble! And all for something I most decidedly did not do! You just had to go and steal my Potions homework, didn't you Ronald! You're such a bloody prat! Oh my god! I cannot believe this is even happening!" Hermione exclaimed, pacing back and forth in front of the Gryffindor common room fireplace. Getting caught cheating and getting in trouble for it had always been one of Hermione Granger's worst fears. Now that fear was coming to realization, and all because of a certain Ronald Weasley.

"D'you think she'll calm down anytime soon?" Ron mumbled to Harry under his breath.

"Not likely. She's on a roll now," Harry replied with a sympathetic shrug. Hermione continued her tirade, but her words fell on deaf ears.

"Don't know why she's so angry. It's not such a huge deal. Snape'll want to give her detention, but if she takes it to McGonagall, and she probably will, then McGonagall can fix everything and she won't get in trouble at all. I should be the nervous one. I'm gonna have to face detention with Snape. Oh, God," Ron said as the realization of the situation dawned upon him. "I have to face detention with Snape," he groaned.

Harry patted his back. "She's just angry because now you've gone and soiled her reputation. She worries too much about what other people think of her. She is taking it a bit overboard, though. She's been so cranky lately. I wonder why. Maybe Lavender, or Parvati, or one of the other girls knows. I doubt she'd tell us anything right now."

They both looked back at Hermione, still ranting on about how Ron had just ruined her credibility with all the Hogwarts teachers. "Now none of the teachers will trust that I am an honest, hardworking student, they'll only ever remember this incident! They'll always remember me as Hermione the cheater! Oh, what am I going to do? They'll never believe that any of my homework is my own work anymore. Oh, the shame!"

"Yeah, it's probably best if we ask someone else," Harry said. "She doesn't seem too rational or cooperative right now. I dunno what we're going to do about her, though. How are we ever going to get her to stop going on?"

"We could just leave her," Ron suggested.

"Well, there's that," Harry agreed.

"Let's go," Ron said, pulling him through the doorway behind the Fat Lady.

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"Bloody hell, she's buggered," Ron said.

"You've got that right," Harry replied. "Say, why don't we give her some time to, ah, cool her jets, and we can come back later. Maybe she'll be fine by then."

"That sounds alright to me," Ron said. "Where to? Are we going to just wander the grounds? Maybe find Neville? I think he's in the library… How about Hagrid's hut?"

"Sounds perfect," Harry replied.

And so, the two of them set off towards Hagrid's hut, in search of something more interesting than Hermione's relentless tirade. She really had been irritable lately, much more so then usual. Usually she had at least some nicer moments, but she had just been all bossy and catty the last few days. This happened every now and then, she had her times, but what with Ron getting her accused of cheating, she was worse then ever. All the two of them really wanted was their friend back, and not the ranting and raving Hermione, the much friendlier one would be preferred. What was it that had her so infuriated? Neither of them had the slightest slue, but Hagrid didn't either.

"I understand why she's angry with yeh. Yeh did steal her work an' yeh got 'er in trouble. I don' know why she'd be so moody an' such, though. Maybe we don' understand all that girl stuff. They get fussy all the time. I don' know what for, though," Hagrid told them.

"Yeah, we weren't really comin' to you because we thought you'd know, we just wanted to get away from her," Ron said, and Harry smacked the back of his head.

"It's a' right, Harry, I don' mind. It's true. I don' know much about them girly things. She's just worked up over sumpin'. Maybe yeh jus' need the give 'er time to get over that, eh?" Hagrid said.

"Yeah, you're probably right, Hagrid, "Ron agreed. "Girls. I don't understand them at all."

"Oh, but I think you and I both know someone who does," Harry said, giving Ron a hard look.

"What're you going on about?" Ron asked.

"I'm talking about your sister," Harry said, as though it was obvious, and I must admit, it was rather easy to guess. She is the girl they know the best, well, next to Hermione.

"You mean Ginny?"

"What other sisters do you have? Have you been hiding some of your family members from me?" Harry joked.

"No, I only have one sister, and believe me, that's enough," Ron said. "D'you know where she is?"

Harry took a breath and opened his mouth as if to tell him, then sighed. "No. Absolutely no idea. I haven't seen her yet today."

"You haven't seen her at all?" Ron asked.

"Well, have YOU?"

"No."

"It's Saturday, I don't keep tabs on your sister all the time," Harry said.

"Well, she's my sister, I have a good reason to avoid her, what's your excuse?" Ron said defensively.

"My excuse is that she's not my sister. How about we just find her?"

"Well, it's about lunch time. Yeh could probably find 'er in the Great Hall," Hagrid suggested.

"That makes sense," Ron agreed.

"Unlike you, you tosser," Harry teased.

"Shut up, or I swear I'll… do something."

"Oooh! You'll do SOMETHING! I'm ever so scared!"

"Let's just find Ginny, alright?" Ron said, eager to end the conversation, as he really was starting to sound like a fool.

"Alright," Harry said. "Maybe she'll be able to help us with our little Hermione problem."

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Ginny, luckily, happened to be in the Great Hall, like Hagrid had thought she might be. She had just finished her lunch when they walked in, catching her just as she was about to leave. After they assured her it was urgent, she agreed that her Charms homework could wait a little longer.

"So, what's up, guys?" Ginny asked.

"Well, actually we have a problem," Harry said.

"Yeah, a rather big problem," Ron added.

"And what type of problem is this, exactly?" Ginny asked.

"The type of problem you could help us find the answer to," Ron said.

"A Hermione problem," Harry clarified.

"Ooooooh. I understand," Ginny sighed.

"You do? If you know something we should, could you PLEASE tell us, I spent the entire morning listening to her telling me about all her problems and blaming me for every one," Ron said.

"Yeah, it was kind of funny, actually, but Hermione's screeching angry voice does get to be a bit much after a while," Harry said.

"Yes, I do know something that might be of use to you, but I'm not sure I should tell you," Ginny said enigmatically.

"PLEASE! I can't take much more of her the way she is. I've only had a few hours, but I really don't think I'll last much longer!" Ron wailed in over exaggerated anguish.

"Well, I don't exactly feel that extreme about it, but it would be really great if you told us," Harry said, eyeing Ron strangely.

"I really don't know if I should tell you. You should probably hear it from Hermione, if she even wants either of you to know," Ginny said.

"Like she'd tell us anything right now," Harry laughed.

"Yeah, of course she's all willing to confide in me when she considers me the one who brought about her 'downfall'," Ron said.

"Well, I suppose you're right…" Ginny reasoned. "Maybe you two should know. It would probably give you a clue as to why she's so moody. And Lord knows you really need to get a clue."

"What is it?" Ron and Harry pressed simultaneously.

"It's that time of the month for her."

"Oh," Harry nodded knowingly.

"What do you mean?" Ron asked.

"Oh, Lord," Ginny said.

"What! I don't get it! That time of the month, what's that supposed to mean?" Ron asked dumbly.

"Please, Ron, do we really have to explain it?" Harry asked.

"Obviously, seeing as he has no idea," Ginny said. "Ok, Ron, I'm going to make this as easy to understand as possible. She's on her period. She's menstruating. Her hormones are raging. She's really moody, and at the slightest offense, she'll get angry at anyone and anything. Got it?"

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh. Hermione's right, you are a prat," Harry teased.

"Shut up, I just didn't know, alright? Geez!" Ron said. "So that's why she's been all crazy- like."

"Yeah, that's why she's overreacting so much. I don't think she'd really want you two to know, though, so don't tell her I told you. She'd probably get angry at me, and that's one thing I don't want: a menstruating Hermione after me. I'm sure she can get a little vicious."

"Yeah, she's been like this before, pretty often, really… about every…month…" Ron trailed off. "Oh! I understand it all now! She's never been this bad before, though."

"Well, you've never gotten her accused of cheating before, now have you?" Harry asked.

"Well, no, but…"

"Well, then, there's you're explanation. This is all your fault." Harry said accusingly. Ginny giggled.

"You've copied her homework before, too, Harry. You're not quite innocent, either," Ron said.

"Sure, I've copied her work, but I've never gotten caught. She'll probably never let you copy again," Harry said. "Now that I think of it, I have reason to be mad at you, too. You've probably ruined it for me as well. I don't think she'll let either of us copy her work anymore."

"Serves you both right. Maybe you should actually try to do your own work for once," Ginny interjected. "I'm sorry, you two, I really have to be going. My Charms homework is going to take me a while. I really should get to it. See you later."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"Oh, God, Harry, what're we gonna do about all this?" Ron moaned as soon as Ginny had left.

"We're going to let her take it easy. Maybe we should leave her alone for a bit," Harry suggested.

"You mean, like ignore her for a while?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, let's just let her calm down a little. Maybe we should get going back to the common room and start our Charms homework," Harry said.

"Sure. Oh, bugger, here comes Hermione."

And coming she was indeed. She stormed into to Great Hall, obviously still furious.

"Let's go out the side door, so she won't see us," Harry said, edging away from the Gryffindor table.

"Yeah, good idea," Ron agreed, taking off for their nearest escape route.

The two of them dashed for the exit like their lives depended on it, and they possibly did. Ron, however, made the horrible mistake of slowing down to look back. As soon as he turned around, Hermione's eyes found his and gave him an evil glare.

"Damn," Ron said.

"Yeah?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Ron replied. (1)

"So she saw us. How bad was it? Did she glare? Please tell me she didn't glare," Harry pressed.

"She glared," Ron confirmed.

"Damn," Harry said.

"Yeah," Ron agreed.

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An hour later, Harry and Ron are sitting in the Gryffindor common room in front of a roaring fire freshly tended to by houselves, most likely, still trying to figure out what Professor Flitwick was asking for on problem number one out of twenty.

"I just don't get it? Why would the frog… I don't get it. I'm going to fail charms class if we don't make up with Hermione soon," Harry moaned.

"Speaking of her, where is she? She should've been back a while ago. She must've gone to the library," Ron reasoned.

"Yeah. I wonder if she'll ever forgive you," Harry mused.

"Oh, shut up. She'll forgive me. Eventually,"

"And in the meantime?"

"I'll just fail with you."

"Alright, then, partner. What do you say we give this one more shot, and if we can't figure it out, we can just put it off until tomorrow," Harry said cheerfully.

"And tomorrow? What if we can't figure it out then?" Ron asked.

"We bluff it and write down something that sounds good."

"I'm with you there. So, one last shot. Start from the beginning."

As the two of them concentrated on their charms homework, the doorway to the common room creaked open, but they didn't notice because of the crackling and popping of the fire.

"Damn!" Ron said suddenly. "This is so confusing!"

"As it should be," Hermione said. Both Harry and Ron whipped around to find that she was standing right behind them. "Well, seeing as you've just copied everything I did all year so far, you wouldn't understand anything."

"Speak of the devil," Ron said unwisely.

"What did you just say?" Hermione hissed.

"Uh, I only meant to say that we had just been talking about you. It's just a saying. I didn't mean anything by it, I swear!" He stuttered nervously.

"Of course you didn't," Hermione snarled. "You think I'm going to buy that crap? Well, you better think again! You see? This is why I am so angry at you! First, you ruined my credibility at this school by getting me accused of cheating, then you walk out on me when I was talking to you…"

"Oops," Ron said under his breath to Harry.

"Don't you dare interrupt me! I am speaking to you right now, and you are going to listen! As I was saying, you walked out on me when I was talking to you, then you avoided me when I saw you two in the Great Hall, and now you're referring to me as the devil! You're so horrible, Ron! I wish I could just, just…" Hermione yelled, while pulling out her wand.

"Uh, Hermione, I wouldn't do that…" Harry said slowly, but Hermione wasn't listening.

"I've had enough of it, Ronald Weasley!" she yelled, and flicked her wand at Ron.

"Hermione!" Harry yelled, jumping in the way of the spell, trying to block it unsuccessfully. The impact of the blow to his chest sent him flying across the room. He slammed against the wall, and slumped to the floor. Surprisingly, though, he didn't feel much pain. Mostly what he felt was a sort of tingling sensation.

"Harry?" Ron asked worriedly. "Harry, are you alright?"

"Oh my god, Harry, I'm so sorry!" Hermione exclaimed.

"I'm fine, guys," Harry assured them, trying to get up, only to be met with an extreme dizziness. "Ok, I'm not fine. What the bloody hell was that, Hermione?"

"It was supposed to be a spell to make Ron feel guilty, but I think I pronounced it wrong in my frustration. Oh, I'm so sorry, Harry!" Hermione wailed.

"Sorry for what? I'll be okay. Nothing's broken. It doesn't even hurt that much. I'll be perfectly fine, just give me a minute," Harry said.

Ron looked at Hermione. "He doesn't know yet?" he asked her.

"I guess not," she replied.

"What? Don't know what?" Harry asked, confused.

"Um, Harry, you're, well, you're a, um, well, a girl," Ron stumbled.

"What? This isn't the time for jokes Ron," Harry laughed.

"He's not kidding, Harry," Hermione said seriously.

"Don't be stupid, I'm not a girl!" Harry said, but then he sat up and rubbed his face. When he was done, he caught a glance at his hands. They weren't his hands, but they were! He could move them. They were dainty little hands with long, thin nails, and they were all smooth and callous- free.

Then, Harry saw his hair; it was long, past his shoulders, and thick. It was shiny and healthy- looking, too. Then, Harry saw something else. He almost fainted, but didn't. Ron caught him as he fell backwards and sat him back up. Harry sat, dazed and in shock. Then, quite suddenly, he started screaming.

"Calm down, Harry! It'll be alright! Just shut up!" Hermione urged him. Ron simply covered his mouth until he stopped.

"Harry, are you alright?" Ron asked.

"Harry? Please talk to us. Harry?" Hermione said nervously.

"He turned to them and told them, as though he couldn't believe what he was saying (because he probably couldn't), "What the bloody hell is going on? I have boobs."

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(1) _Wimbledon_ (the movie) reference.

There. The first chapter is complete. Hope you enjoyed it. I tried to make it nice and long. If you have any praise, complaints, really any comments at all, always feel free to review! Thanks for reading!


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